Captives of a Strange and Cruel Mind
by AaylaKitofNiflheim
Summary: A new fanfiction author throws her favorite characters into cells in an attempt to get a story idea. Will they escape...? Or will they remain ensnared in her evil plot? NOTE: This is NOT an annoying Mary Sue/OC story. It is funny. I swear it is.
1. Capture

**Captives of a Strange and Cruel Mind**

**SUMMARY: A new fanfiction author throws her favorite characters into cells in an attempt to get a new story idea. Will they escape…?**

**A/N: Hi, guys! It's AaylaKit of Niflheim, and this is my first story. Please read and review it... *bites fingernails nervously***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. Darn it, I really want a creative way of saying that...**

**CHAPTER ONE: The Capture**

**In which a new author introduces herself, catches the characters she will be using, and explains her plan.**

* * *

I went after Fett first.

He was probably the easiest one. It only took a couple lies about Mace Windu and a well-placed hologram to get him to head straight into the cell I had arranged.

"Ta-ta, Boba!" I cheered, raising my hand to slam the door.

"No! Wait! You can't!"

"Yes, I can! You may refer to me as AaylaKit or—and I would prefer this—'milady'. Clear?"

"Please!" Boba struggled and forced his shoulders between the doors, holding them open. "Aaylakit, I am your father!"

I stopped dead. "Really, Boba? REALLY? For one, you're, like, thirteen I think, and two, you have a daughter later. I don't know her name. Ailyn Vel or something. Third, if you _were_, I couldn't be all obsessive over your cuteness and that would break my heart. Fourthly, YOU CAPITALIZE THAT K IN MY NAME!"

Boba paused in his frantic efforts to pull the door open. "I have a daughter later? How do you—"

"Because I know _everything_. Now why did you say that? You don't know about Vader yet…"

"I really have no idea. It just came into my head for some reason. _Let me out you Sith!"_

"Now, now, Bob'ika!" I chided, grinning. "Is that any way to talk to _me_?"

"Yes," was the immediate response. I shook my head.

"If I were really a Sith, Boba, I would try and kill you for _that_ comment. But I'm not. You won't be seeing much of me, anyway. I'm just here to keep you still and try and write stuff about you. I'll explain after I get the others in—for now, toodle-oo!" I pushed him through the doors and slammed them, then turned away, ignoring the cries for help and the Mandalorian curses.

The other captives took more time, of course. And my next course was to the son of the creator of the quote that Boba had used. Luke Skywalker.

* * *

He was harder—_much_ harder.

"Hi, Luke! I'm here to bring you to Leia. She wanted to see you."

He stared at me. "I sense through the Force that you are lying."

I frowned. "Oh…there's that one gone then, huh? All right then: LOOK, WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!"

Luke watched me fall to the ground dramatically. "There's nothing behind me."

"Can you help me up, Luke?" I asked from the floor.

Luke shook his head. "No! You're a Sith, aren't you?"

"I thought you had the Force. Can't you see I'm _not _a Sith? Now help me up," I said, extending a hand straight into the air. "Please."

"What's your name, anyway?" Luke ignited his lightsaber and held it, ready in case I tried anything.

"Put that away," I said. "Scary green pointy glowy thing. Could hurt someone with that."

"_What is your name?"_

"AaylaKit! Capitalize the K in the middle, I'm warning you."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to say hello, Luke. Can't a friend drop by?"

"You're not my friend. I've never met you before."

"Well, help me up anyway. It's polite."

"Help yourself up. And none of your excuses are real. Why are you here?!"

"I'm here to say hi. I told you that. Listen, Luke—I've captured Boba Fett."

"Really?" Luke lowered his lightsaber slightly. "You're not lying…"

"Nope! I'm not. Now, follow me—I'll show him to you. Help me up."

This time, Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Lead the way. I have my lightsaber, in case you trick me."

* * *

"Okay, Luke!" I said after my ship had flown a short way. "I'm going to be switching into another dimension here, so if you've eaten anything, get rid of it _now_ before it ends up on the seat leather. Not really leather, you should know. Diamond encrusted paper."

Luke stared at me, mouth hanging open slightly. "Diamond…encrusted…"

"Paper! Yep. A homage to what I do. Besides, I created this, so I can decide anything—" I slammed a hand over my mouth and started preparing for the jump into the new dimension—a dimension that I had dubbed Dimension Fanfiction, Sector Parody, Planet AaylaKit.

He didn't let up easily. "What _do _you do? And how is it even possible to use paper for seat leather?"

"You'll see later. Try not to ask stupid questions," I said, dodging both of them. "Look here, we're entering Dimension Fanfiction."

"What's Dimension Fanfiction?"

"You'll find out, like I said." I pointed out the window. "Look—that's Sector Romance we're passing through. There's Planet AJSK… there's Sector Adventure…Planet Kiratta…here's Sector Parody. That's where I put Fett. Look…Planet Maralexa…lovely planet…and here we are, Planet AaylaKit!"

"You have a planet named after—" Luke started, but stopped when a strange robotic voice floated out of the atmosphere.

_[You are entering Fanfiction Parody Planet AaylaKit. Please state your identification]_

A white light shone on me.

"That's my cue!" I did a little tap dance for the cameras sure to be watching me, then bowed. "My name is AaylaKit. I am the author of this planet."

_[Please state your password, Aaylakit]_

"CAPITALIZE THAT K!"

_[Welcome, AaylaKit] _The light shone on Luke. _[Please state your identification]_

I frowned and passed Luke a written script I had prepared for him._"Read it or it'll kill you!" _I hissed when he appeared to be having doubts. The interface wouldn't actually kill him, most likely, but a little fear never hurt anyone.

"I am a…character…of…Star Wars? I am Luke Skywalker…"

"He is my captive," I inserted, ignoring Luke's shocked look. "Hey, put that lightsaber down! Interface, help me!"

_[Scanning]_ the interface said.

"Put it doooown!" I howled, pushing at Luke's hand to try and get the lightsaber away from my face.

_[Scan complete. Welcome, Luke Skywalker, prisoner of AaylaKit. Your weapons will be removed during your stay on Fanfiction Parody Planet AaylaKit]_

Luke stared in horror as his lightsaber vanished from his hand.

"Ha-ha!" I cheered, standing up again. "Come on, Luke, let's visit Boba. Then we'll see your cell."

* * *

Next on my list were the people who had inspired my name: Aayla Secura and Kit Fisto. Easy, almost as easy as Boba. A surprise, really, considering that they were full-fledged Jedi.

"Hi, Aayla, Kit! Come with me! I'm AaylaKit!"

They looked at me weird. Nothing new.

"Yeah, I made it out of your names. Cause you two are cute together! Don't think I don't know about Kamino…"

Aayla and Kit looked at each other, sending back and forth glances that said _She knows about us? a_nd _Cute together? a_nd _Where is she taking us? _and _What's she doing?_ And, most importantly, _How does she know about Kamino?_

I laughed, then decided it would be nice to answer one or two of the questions. "I'm AaylaKit, like I said. And you guys are famous! Plus, I know everything. I'm taking you to Dimension Fanfiction Sector Parody Planet AaylaKit—yes, it's named after _me_, not you two—and as for what I'm doing, I'll tell you later. Now, _allons-y!"_ I started back towards my ship.

"Why should we come with you?" Aayla called.

I turned, smiling benignly. "Well, because if you don't…I'll have to tell the entire Temple your secret. But it's your choice…"

Was it any wonder what they did?

* * *

As for how I got the others, that needs no mentioning. All you must know is that _eventually_ I rounded up all of my favorite and least favorite Star Wars characters, and put them all in cells on Planet AaylaKit. Then, fulfilling every good villain's needs, I put up a hologram of myself in every cell.

"Hi, everyone!" I greeted them, watching their surprised/angry/confused/horrified/doom face expressions on my cameras. "As you've probably guessed, I am AaylaKit. Where are you? What are you doing? Are tomatoes fruits? These questions, and more, will be answered now.

"Where are you? You are on the underground of the Planet AaylaKit. I say underground. Planet AaylaKit is hollow. You're all floating in space in cells, and I can change them, and alter your surroundings as I wish.

"Why are you here? This'll require some explaining. I'll do it as best as I can. See, I'm a new fanfiction author. And I need ideas! All the good ones have been taken! So I've put you all in cells I made up here, and I'll watch you, and put you in situations. Then I'll record your reactions and make a story out of this! Brilliant, _non_?

"What are you doing? Follow your natural responses to things. That way, I'll get good material. And when I get good material…I'll let you go! Well…maybe.

"Anyway! What will happen to you, and how will you be treated? I'll give you food and water and companionship. And you'd BETTER BE COMPANIONS! Otherwise these ships I'm working on won't work." I coughed several times, and choked out "Boba!"

"What did I do?" Boba asked the camera, clearly annoyed.

"Boba asked what he did—it's not what you _did_, Bob'ika, it's the fact that you're not going to do what I want. So try and be natural, but, y'know, join in with my ships, okay? Okay.

"And are tomatoes fruits? Yes, they are. But remember! Knowledge, of which I possess a great deal, is knowing that tomatoes are fruits. But wisdom, of which I also possess a great deal, is knowing not to put them in a fruit salad. So if I give you a fruit salad, it will not contain tomatoes. Now, that's all! I'll see you shortly!" I smiled to them, and turned the hologram off.

This was going to be the BEST fanfiction story ever.

* * *

**A/N: So, that's the first chapter... R&R please? (Oh, and I also don't happen to own Maralexa, Anakin-Jason-Skywalker-Kenobi, or KiraKenvor. Hope you guys enjoyed the free publicity...)**


	2. Skywalker Whining

**CHAPTER TWO: Skywalker Whining**

**In which Ahsoka joins in with the quotes from the original trilogy, the Interface explains what this means, and AaylaKit meets an unexpected visitor.**

**A/N: THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! And even if you read and didn't review, thank you anyway! :D Hope you continue to read and show your face a bit next time!  
****Big thanks to my beta, Maralexa, and to all my IRL friends who've read it over for me.  
****Review response!  
****StarWarrior72: Very good question. Look at the disclaimer below.  
Vana Jedi: Done. I need to edit the summary a bit, still.  
Watersong77: PM-d. Thank you for favoriting!  
LudiMagister: Why thank you! Next is right below this note!  
SophiaVillo: PM-d. Thanks for following!  
Fred- 104: Thank you! Take pride in my evilness, I do. Speak like Yoda I am also. Ominous, that was. But terrible at foreshadowing, I am. Happen, nothing may. Happen, something might. Always in motion, is the future.**

**DISCLAIMER: Unless llamas are made of chocolate (which would be amazing), I do not own Star Wars.**

* * *

I was still puzzled about one thing, though. Boba's comment as I had thrown him into his cell…that was unusual. He hadn't met Vader yet, not in this time frame. So where was that comment from?

I decided to try and get some more information from him.

"Hello, Bob'ika," I called, entering the cell. "Miss me?"

Boba informed me exactly how much he did not miss me, with a large amount of profanity in Mando'a to prove it.

"Awwww…" I said. "But, anyway, there's business to do…"

The silence lasted for a couple minutes before Boba broke it. "What are you staring at me like that for? Let me out!"

"You are so unbearably adorable when you're angry like that!" I squealed. "Do it again!"

Boba gave a possibly-even-cuter glare at me. "Let. Me. Out."

"Sorry," I said, reluctantly turning back to business. "No can do, _ad'ika_. I gotta get a story, and you're my very special favorite character."

"I'm so honored," Boba said drily. "What do you want?"

"Well, it's about that whole 'AaylaKit, I am your father' thing. See, Boba—can I call you Boba?"

"No."

"See, Boba—have I told you how much I love your name? No? Well, I do, and—you're not supposed to say that. That's an iconic line for Vader and Vader only."

Boba stared. "Who's Vader?"

"He'll be your client soon enough, _ner beroya_. An-y-ways, why did you say that?"

"I told you it just fell into my head. And _what_ did you just call me?"

"_Ner beroya_, Bob'ika. It shouldn't bother you anymore."

"Quit calling me that!"

"What? Bob'ika? It means—"

"_I know_ what it means!"

"So I'll call you it, Bob'ika."

"Go _away_! If I've got to stay in here, don't annoy me!"

"Annoy? I would _never_ annoy _anyone_—"

Boba jumped up. "GET OUT!"

"Fine, fine, fine," I muttered, then paused and, over my shoulder, added, "Bob'ika," then ducked quickly out, hearing Boba's body slam against the door as he took a running leap at me.

I winced, feeling guilty about that, but never mind. I'd have to up my _evil_ ante if I ever wanted to write a winner. And so, I'd cry about the character's treatment when it came time for revisions. Now, though, was the time to worry about quotes. Maybe it was just Boba…maybe not the other characters….I'd have to check.

"Hey, 'Soka! How are ya?"

"Go away," the Togruta mumbled from the floor.

"Everyone's been saying that to me. I don't know why." I paused a moment in silent reflection, then plunged on. "Anyways, Soka, I wanted to know if you've been feeling any strange impulses to say things.

"Why should I tell _you_?" Ahsoka stuck her chin out at me.

I paused incredulously. "Um, because you have no weapons? Because I do?"

"Because my Master will come to get me, _of course_," Ahsoka said.

"Soka. Soka. Listen to me." I leaned in to make sure my words were understood. "You…are…in…another…dimension. Anakin does not know where you are. Capice?"

"No…NO!" Ahsoka screamed. "IT CAN'T BE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Right. All the information I need. Bye, Soka!"

* * *

I had no idea _what_ was going on. First Boba, now Ahsoka, were using quotes that made no sense with their situations. Why? What was happening? _True love?_ I thought hopefully. It would make my shipping job a lot easier if that was why they were speaking strangely. But no, they'd never seen each other, and that still didn't explain why they knew the quotes that they shouldn't. With a sigh, I ruled out true love.

What to do when you don't know something? Why, rely on technology, of course!

"Interface?"

_[Yes, AaylaKit]_

"Are there any sort of energies around that would cause people to know things they shouldn't?"

_[I do not understand 'things they shouldn't', AaylaKit. Please explain]_

"Like, saying quotes that only a certain person should ever say."

_[Scanning...]_

I tapped my foot impatiently. "Well, Interface?"

_[There is a large quantity of Force energy around this area. People are attempting to reach your captives]_

"But why would that cause them to say the quotes?"

_[Because your planet is in another dimension, your shields overlap their time and speech. Therefore some of their quotes overlap onto your characters]_

"Is this normal?"

_[No]_

"Should I be worried?"

_[Yes]_

"Why?"

_[This makes it very likely that characters could also overlap into this planet. Be careful, AaylaKit]_

"Oh, okay." I frowned. "I need an idea. What can I make them do?"

_[Look for stories that readers enjoy, AaylaKit. Or speak to other writers]_

I sighed. "Right. Well, one of them's always nattering away about Luke and Vader. I've got Luke…wait, how do I tell which characters might cross over?"

_[The quotes that you hear reflect which characters are close to crossing onto our side, AaylaKit. It may also simply be a very iconic quote that shows which era the next character will come from]_

"Oh! EPICNESS VADER'S COMING HERE!" I did a slightly crazy—well, incredibly crazy—dance, then stopped with a foot positioned over my head. "But Interface, Luke's already here, and Ahsoka did a Skywalker whine and said 'NO! IT CAN'T BE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!'"

_[This means that Luke is about to leave your planet]_

"Oh, is he?" I snarled, sinking into a low crouch and praying there were cameras watching so they could hear the unbelievable epicness of it. "I'll fix that…"

But then I was stuck, because I didn't know _how _to fix that. I straightened up, coughed, embarrassed, and whispered, "Um, Interface? How do I stop him?"

_[To halt the progression, large amounts of metal are necessary, conforming as close to the person as possible. This will cause a gap in the overlapping]_

"Right," I said quietly, then waved a hand, motioning for the cameras to start again, and sank back down into a low crouch. "Oh, is he? I'll fix that…" I sprung out of my crouch and ran to Luke's cell.

Only to smash directly into a large, cybernetic Sith Lord.

* * *

**A/N: Ehehehehehehehe! Well, if you've read this far, thank you! Oh, and review, please. Reviews are fuel to my writing soul. They also tend to make me giggle randomly. They _also_ have a tendency to make me yell quotes from The Avengers, mashing together ones from different characters, which sounds very strange. Something like this. *ding* "New review on your story, Captives of a Strange and Cruel-" "HA! I AM A GOD, YOU DULL CREATURE! Blueberry? I wouldn't have done this if I couldn't handle... pointy things." (No, I'm not obsessed with The Avengers. Why do you ask?) **


	3. No, I am your father!

**CHAPTER THREE: No, ****_I_**** am your father!**

**In which AaylaKit gets a new prisoner, writes her first story, and makes a pact with Boba**

**A/N:I should have updated sooner. Truly, I apologize. I've been really lazy, but it wasn't my fault because my beta was busy, and...okay, yeah, it was totally my fault. Sorry.  
Scoobycool9 and Luckycool9: I don't consider it a self-insert because it's a parody. Also, when I write AaylaKit, it's like I'm writing an entirely different person. I started asking myself, "Okay, it's a self-insert, so what would I do?" realized that it was completely OOC for AaylaKit, and started asking, "Okay, what would this OC do?" So basically, she's an OC with my screen name pretending to be me.  
Crazy: Thank you! The idea for the Interface, it may be noted, was shamelessly taken from Doctor Who. (New Series, Season 6, The Girl Who Waited)  
LudiMagister: Thank you for your review. And I did go around for a couple hours grinning like a clown after reading it.  
Watersong77: Unfortunately, on the one chapter where you want me to update fast…I didn't. Well, here it is. Vader will have bigger appearances in future chapters.  
Fred-104: Yes, that was a Doctor Who quote. This story will have Doctor Who quotes and refrences galore. Except I won't actually say that they're from Doctor Who in the story, because that's introducing a crossover, and I'm not about to do that. Sadly, the dark awesome person of the Sith will need to wait another chapter to get the full appearance that he deserves. (Sorry about that…)  
Sophia Villo: Yes. Trouble is all I am.  
laureas: Oh, but I like the quote "wipe the floor with old man Kenobi!" I'm using it in later chapters, if that's okay with you. And yes, I am shamelessly obsessed with the Avengers. Oh, and Loki.  
Vana Jedi: Well, of course you do. And you have seen it before. Although I've made some adjustments to this chapter that you won't have seen.  
Kari: Thank you. :D I tried to avoid as much as possible making AaylaKit seem like a Mary Sue to the readers beyond the fourth wall, but to the characters, well… let's just say that they're not exactly enamored with her. (And they never will be because that would definitely push this story into Sue-territory.)  
E for Exotic: Well, if anyone can write a jar of randomness and insanity, I do hope I can! Hopefully I won't disappoint...**

"Lord—Lord Vader!" I stammered. "I—ah—wasn't expecting you! You weren't supposed to be here!"

Vader looked down at me as if I were an ant he had found on the bottom of his boot. "Your pleas are unnecessary. I _am_ here."

"D-do you want Luke? You c-can t-take him, really. I won't m-mind. J-just l-let m-me use some c-cameras on you."

Obviously Vader wasn't expecting me to have such valuable a prize as Luke. He started, looking at me with a little bit more respect.

"How did you come by him?"

I straightened up, stammer gone, feeling proud of myself. "Caught him! Pretty clever of me. See, I got Fett first, and I told him that I had Fett, so then he'd come as long as he had his lightsaber, and my Interface took it away from him, so I locked him up, but you have to let me go and put metal on him or he'll be gone."

"You have Fett?" The respect appeared to increase.

"Yeah! I do! He's, um, younger than you'd think…." I trailed off, not sure how to phrase the next bit. "He's sort of, well, thirteen. About. I'm not sure. I have a time machine, you know," I added hopefully.

Vader's respect vanished. "I cannot imagine that _that_ capture would be difficult."

"It wasn't," I said, then added quickly, "But harder than you'd think. I mean, he's thirteen, but he's a _tough_ thirteen-year-old. I bet you couldn't have done it. It required my prior knowledge and research skills to do it all…" I babbled on.

"If you have these skills, you should have no problems working as a bounty hunter for me." Vader's head tilted, obviously considering what a wonderful asset I could be to the Empire. Huh.

_What brilliant stories I could write with that! "_I'd _love_ to, Lord Vader, but I'm sorta busy at the moment. Maybe when this—ah, project—of mine is done, I will. Speaking of the project—Interface!"

_[Yes, AaylaKit?]_

"Sorry about this, Ani. Couldn't be helped. I need a Luke and Vader story. For my clone. This is my new prisoner, Interface. Put him in a cell while I work out what to do with him." I could see Vader stare at me, obviously in disgust at the name 'Ani'. Stuff slips out of your mouth sometimes.

_[I am putting the prisoner Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker in a cell now, AaylaKit. Do you want the cell to be next to the cell of Luke Skywalker?]_

"Yes, Interface. Sorry, Ani! Toodle-oo!"

The Interface's white light shone on Vader, who promptly vanished before he could draw his lightsaber.

"Remind me to wipe his memory of me capturing him before I let him out," I told the Interface. "I don't want to lose that job. I could make millions of stories! _Hunt or be Hunted—the chilling tale of an author working as a bounty hunter for Darth Vader. Will she survive?_ What do you think of that one, Interface?" I often asked these questions, knowing full well that the Interface would never answer.

_[I will remind you, AaylaKit]_

"Good! Now, Interface, help me with this story."

_[Which prisoners will you use?]_

"Boba. And Jango. But we'll bring him in later. Put Boba in the setting first."

_[What setting do you wish to use?]_

"Bring up a list of options, please. I'm not all that sure."

A hologram of different scenes floated up by me.

"Um…the forest one. And I'll need some animals in there. Because we need lots of adorable angstyness. Like, um… zombies! Have some zombies attack Boba, please."

I sighed, sitting down on my couch. "Interface, open up a journal for me."

A red light blinked above my head, letting me know that the Interface was recording my words. I sighed again just for dramacy.

"Author's log, stardate…um… forty-two. Well, the story worked. Kind of. It did what I planned, at the beginning. Boba started shouting at me, but I edited that bit out. He did a really good job fighting the zombies, used resources well—note to self, is it all right to introduce a crossover just to see how he does in the Hunger Games?

"But anyway. Then I sent Jango in, and all hell broke loose. They were fine by their own, but the second they saw each other it was all talk, talk, talk! I know that's what I was planning for. But they totally ignored the surroundings and just caught up on how Jango had died and Boba was older than he should be—and it was all in Mandalorian. I'll have to remember to translate it later.

"So I was feeling a little vengeful. And I had a zombie scratch Boba, to kill him. Because I can't imagine a zombie Boba. I just can't. So he was dying, and it was all really nice—and then he cursed me! _Me!_ It's not like I've ever done anything wrong!" I jumped off the couch and paced around. "And I can't edit it out because it's the last sentence! And I need to keep my story T rated! And I can't break the fourth wall! _Argh!" _I snatched up a plate and flung it at the wall.

_[AaylaKit, calm down and count to three. My resources show that it helps]_

"One, two, three," I muttered. "Oh! And I've got Vader now. I'll have to work on making a story for him and Luke. But it's going to be really hard and I'm not looking forwards to it. I'll give you more details once there's details to give. Huh. I like that sentence. Highlight it. What do they say in that show when they're finished with a log? Um… author's log closed?"

_[Encrypting entry]_

I stalked into Boba's cell. "Boba! You were doing so well! Until that _one last bit!_"

Boba blinked at me. "I just got killed by your zombies, author. Slow down."

I sighed, and started again. "That was perfect. The fight…the running… the more fighting…the getting bitten…and the dying bit was done well. You won't believe how many people just thrash around and whine when they get killed."

"So let me out!"

"_No_, Boba. See, you're supposed to recognize Jango, mutter something in Mando'a…I don't know what, _you're_ the expert here… and _then_ die."

"I did!"

"Swearing at me is not what I had in mind! It's supposed to be touching! I'm supposed to have audiences crying here!"

"You did it too fast. Audiences wouldn't be crying anyway."

"I would've added more!"

"That's not what I'm worried about, author. Where do you have Jango?"

"In a cell. Same as you."

"Take me to see him."

"No! I'll let you see him in some of my stories!"

"But I—"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Where did you find him, anyway?"

"I have a time machine. It's a blue box. Stole it from someone."

"Take me to see him," Boba said, sitting down in front of me, "please."

"Whoa…" I stared. "You said please. Without me prompting you. Really want to see him, huh?"

"You have no idea."

I considered. "Well. Maybe. If…"

"If what?"

"If you're good in my stories…"

"No!"

"But then I'll let you see him. No prompting. No story. Just talk. If you're good."

Boba slowly stood up. "Really?"

"Yep! Really! Nooo lying for AaylaKit this time!" I held out my hand. "I'll even swear the pact in Mando'a if you like."

Boba's hand dropped on to mine. "_Haat, Ijaa, Haa'it."_

"_Haat, Ijaa, Haa'it_," I echoed, then dropped my hand. "So you'll behave in my stories?"

"Yes," Boba said, although he didn't look happy about that. "And you'll let me see Jango?"

"Sadly, I will. But Bob'ika, it works so much better when you haven't seen each other—"

"You promised!"

I sighed. "Fine… anyway, Bob'ika, I'm off to write a new story. Seem good?"

"Which story?" Boba asked, curious in spite of himself.

"Someone you've never heard of…Luke Skywalker. Yeah. Anyway, I'm going to brutally torture him, then leave him for Vader. Oh, and Leia. Leia's going to be an Imp. It's an AU, you see."

"What's an Imp?"

"You'll learn eventually, _ner beroya_. Bye!" I vanished from the cell, quite pleased at my dramatic exit. And at my story, although I'd have to revise it. Now the other story. This was going to be ghastly…

"Interface, _how_ do I do a Luke and Vader story? Help me here!"

_[I do not know, AaylaKit. Ask another fanfiction author?]_

"Right…" I sighed, lying down on a sleepcouch. "Turn on the TV, will ya? I hear there's hints of Ahsoba in the upcoming Clone Wars episode."

_[Maybe you should write one of those, AaylaKit]_

"I'd love to… but someone really wants me to do one with Luke. So I have to…then I need to do an AaylaKit one to live up to my name…and then I'll do an Ahsoba because I've got that pact made…urgh. So much to do!"

_So much to do,_ I thought sadly, scratching away at an outline while I watched the Clone Wars episode that failed to deliver, _and so little time_.

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY. I am sorry that Vader did not make a bigger appearance. He will later! In the very next chapter! I promise! And seriously, I'm sorry for not updating. Okay, the train of apologies ends now… (Sorry)**

**Originally I had AaylaKit's story written out, but then I decided that Boba was getting too much screen time. So I replaced it with this author's log here. **

**The vow that AaylaKit and Boba swore is Truth, Honor, Vision in Mandalorian. It's said when sealing a pact. **

**AaylaKit's thoughts on the Luke and Vader story are my own. Exactly my own. As in, ****_how do you guys who write about Luke and Vader and make it all adorable and sweetness and fluff and family even though Luke's been tortured and Vader is this evil cybernetic guy DO it?_**** I have abandoned sweetness and fluff for Vader (although I haven't entirely given up on Jango. I'm just trying to make him not sound like a sentimental old fool) and am ****_trying_****to make him all epic. Which is actually harder than it looks.**

**Whoa, holy author's note Batman... um, anyway. If you've got this far, please review! (And check out my other story, too! It's a Thor one with my typical Doctor Who shout-outs...but you don't need to have seen DW to enjoy it. It's new and it needs some love!)**


	4. One-Shots

**CHAPTER FOUR: One-Shots**

**In which AaylaKit writes a Luke and Vader story—well, sort of, an unlikely friendship forms, and a dangerous idea begins to take place.**

**A/N: Hey, guys. Um, hi. You're all going to kill me now, right? And I know I just promised "It won't take that long! Really!" Well, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so very sorry. I promise—oh, never mind promises. I've been busy. Really busy. Like, I've been crying over Lord of the Rings because Sam and Frodo are asljfjoij so cute, and watching The Hobbit, and writing my Thor story (which is not going so well, by the way, I'm only halfway through a non-humorous parody of a Doctor Who episode and the page count is through the roof), and—oh, I'm not helping, right? Sorry. **

**(Amirexia, thank you for giving me the motivation to stop being so lazy and start writing. I hope I'm not too late to avoid the coconuts.)**

**But I need to stop with these apologies and get to writing. So. **

* * *

Vader was not pleased with me when I entered his cell.

"Aaagh! Stop choking me!" I squeaked through the Force-choke. "Let go!"

"And why should I?" Vader asked, keeping the pressure on my neck.

"Because I'll let you see Luke!" I noticed my ability to breathe increase slightly. "Yeah! I will! I'll put you both in a story together and—FOR-FORCE'S-SAKE-STOP-IT!"

Vader had resumed the choke where he left off.

"Okay—I'll let you go—just one story—"

No change.

"IF I DIE THE INTERFACE WON'T LET YOU OUT!"

Change. Quite a bit of it. I dropped to the ground again, fussing and rubbing at my throat, making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. "Right, Vader. Story time! Yaaaaaay!"

I couldn't be positive, but I was pretty sure Vader's last images before the story started were me dancing in the corner of the cell.

* * *

Vader appeared in the story with a quite impressive volley of curse words, mostly aimed at me. I whined at the Interface for a full five minutes on how long it would take to censor it all and as such missed his discovery of Luke.

Oh yeah, Luke. Huh. I was pretty proud about that. See, I'd taken the Interface's advice on another author's help and had decided that in order to get what they called "sweetness and fluff" had decided that the best thing to do would be to brutally torture Luke and then send Vader to help him.

Anyway. Since the readers were seeing this through my eyes, I turned my attention to Luke and Vader.

"Where did she go?" Vader raged, sweeping his hand from side to side and ripping one of the walls apart with the Force.

I pouted, attempted to look pretty while doing so, and didn't fail _entirely_. "Interface, he's being mean."

Luke coughed slightly from the floor. "V-vader? Daddy?"

The story would have gone perfectly fine after that if I had not let loose with a loud "SQUEEE!" that shattered the eardrums of all around. Luke passed out, Vader stared blankly at a wall praying for mercy and/or my sudden death, and the Interface flashed weird combinations of lights and yanked them out of the story.

"What was that for, Interface?" I complained. "That was—that's what they call 'fluff'! And sweetness! I, AaylaKit, known for doing nothing but procrastinating and staring into space, have written fluff!"

_[AaylaKit. Lord Vader, I believe, would wish to speak with you]_

"Wha?" I turned around to see Vader looking rather like killing me would be an excellent idea. "Oh."

There I was stuck against the wall being choked again. I bit back a wail. It wasn't fair! All I wanted to do was capture them and destroy their lives and force them to perform for me so that I could get reviews and feel happy because my point in life was such that I was glad being told I was a good writer from someone that I had never met! Was that so much to ask?

Apparently, for some insane reason, it was.

"Look, Vader, I get that you're angry," I spluttered. "Like, really angry. 'Wipe the floor with old man Kenobi' and all that. But maybe you could—"

I didn't get any further because at that moment Luke coughed. "AaylaKit?"

Vader had thankfully dropped me and turned to him, so I landed on the ground wincing and rubbing my neck. "Hello, my prisoner! What is it you require? Anything you ask, I shall grant. Unless, that is, it belongs to my list of contraband materials, which has no less than two thousand items, including but not limited to the One Ring, cherry soda, live animals, Apple products, lightsabers, any Twilight book, trees, fancy neckties, a space monolith…" I continued in this way as Luke pointedly ignored me and turned to Vader.

"Hello, Father. Any plans of helping me out?" the Jedi asked calmly.

"Toy boats, posters, offensive material (see subsection 29-B for specifics), Lord of the Rings extended edition box sets for movie marathons that don't invite AaylaKit, earplugs, water glasses…" I continued.

"What happened to 'Daddy'?" Vader commented wryly to him.

"Fluffy scarves, sewing needles, red shirts, soundtracks to depressing musicals (see Les Miserables), anything that will make AaylaKit cry (see subsections 30 through 100 A-Z for specifics), characters from other fandoms…"

"Wha…" Luke stared straight ahead. "Did I actually say that?"

"Pop-tart cats, video games, pictures of ferrets, any kind of statue angels (see Dangerous Materials subsection), lamps—"

"Yes," Vader said, also very calm, and knocked me to the floor.

"Ow! Hey!" I pulled myself up, dusting off my shoulders and doing my best to look as though I had planned the whole thing. "Now, Interface, will you please put them back in the story? Leia hasn't arrived yet. I'm having a fellow author of mine teach her about AUs."

_[Certainly, AaylaKit. I do apologize, but my readings indicated that Vader's anger may have ended in permanent damage to your central nervous system]_

"Who needs a central nervous system?" I waved my hand dismissively. "Story, Interface!"

A wounded Luke, still attempting to retain some aspect of dignity, vanished, along with Vader, who was attempting to kill me in the few seconds before the story took hold.

"Well. There." I said. "Interface, publish that one-shot I did for Jango and Boba, will you? And while you're at it, put out the first chapter of that Doctor Who story. I want to show that I can diversify."

_[I have already done so, AaylaKit]_

"Now I'm just going to sit back and work on a ton of one-shots. That's how authors get famous, right? Quick little one-shots? I mean, there was that author I saw who only did drabbles and she got over a hundred reviews for each one…"

And so I ran off to work with my other characters, humming happily.

* * *

Aayla and Kit were, to put it nicely, not as happy as I was.

_Of course they're not happy_, I told myself. _I put them in separate cells! Silly me, pulling them apart! Their romance should never die!_

These happy thoughts lasted as long as it took for me to put them in the same cell. At this time, they both looked at each other, nodded slightly, and sprang on me.

"Hey! _Hey!"_ I shrieked. "This has already happened twice today! Let me go!"

"You survived both times?" Aayla asked, keeping steady pressure on my neck. Her eyes blazed with fury. I frantically tried to think of anything I might have done to offend her.

Kit tugged on her hand. "Let her up! It's not the Jedi way! Aayla, Aayla, I know you're upset—Jedi Knight Secura, let her go!"

I was pulled up to my feet. "Huh!" I said, irritated. "You know that when I write all this down as a thrilling tell-all documentary, people are going to call this all cheap drama?"

Kit grinned at me. "We wouldn't want the critics thinking ill of you, would we?"

"No, we wouldn't," I agreed, pleased that someone was showing sense. "Now, I would like you both to remain very calm."

"Why?" Kit asked curiously.

"Because," I said. "I am going to put you both in a story. And you'll be just fine! Don't worry about a thing!" The smile on my face was too large to look genuine. They didn't buy it.

"And why should we not worry?" Aayla wondered grimly.

"You'll be naturals!" I clutched my laptop to my chest and spun in a circle giddily. "Perfect! It's going to be sweet, and fluffy, and romantic, and everything that you two are great at! Aren't you excited? Come on! This will be perfect!"

They simply stared.

"Fine," I said, sticking my tongue out childishly at them. "Just you wait."

* * *

"Authors log, stardate six hundred and forty-eight." I began. "Aayla and Kit are causing problems. I never would have expected it of them. Surely I can't be doing anything wrong?

"Anyway, I decided that I'd pull the classic sparring-and-true-love-blossoms routine. You know, one of them trips, they fall on top of each other, accidental kiss, express feelings of love, scene fades to black? Yeah, one of those. Cliché, but the fans love it.

"So I'd explained everything to them, and only gotten a few bruises, and I put them in the story. They started sparring with each other, and I was just about to toss in a stick for Aayla to trip over, when they attacked the narrator.

"Yeah, the narrator. See, I wanted to mix two clichés together and have a Padawan be secretly watching them. And she was the narrator. She was also sort of a self-insert of me. But not that much a self-insert!" I added hastily. "She just happened to have my eye color, and hair color, and face shape, and weight, and personality, and clothing! Really very mild.

"I had to cut that story short and make up the rest of it. I said that the Padawan was actually an intruder in the Temple and was a Separatist spy. Then I quickly put in a battle scene, Aayla and Kit versus a droid army, and killed off Aayla." I shrugged. "You can't just mess with _my_ OC like that. But she died in Kit's arms, so of course it worked out well.

"And," I said, taking a deep breath before the next part, "_people loved it!_ 'aaylakit5eva' said it was the best story she'd ever read in her life! 'xXxAaylaAndKitxXx' said it was utterly beautiful! 'omggromanticcouplepairings' said I was the best writer ever! I'm so happy! All of them said that there were utterly no flaws and that I was the most perfect person in the world!

"Well, then I wrote a ton more one-shots. I'll have to detail them later. But everyone liked them! I am brilliant! Amazing! Awesome! AaylaKit signing out!"

I spun around happily, buoyed up by the memory of those wonderful, perfect, punctuation-less reviews.

Of course, I hadn't said anything about my one failure. Yes, I had failed in something. I couldn't bear to think of it and spoil my mood. A failure! By me? It could not happen! And yet… it had. My life was horrible.

"I," I announced, "am a tragic, unloved, heroine."

_[AaylaKit, I assure you, you-]_

"Don't talk to me, Interface! I'm angsting here!" I dropped my head in my hands. "Woe betide me, who has done so much, only to realize too late that the secondary OTP—yes, the Second True Pairing—could never be, because they are—" I sucked in a breath and spoke the word in horror. "_Friends._"

I stalked off to inform the two exactly why they could not be friends, because they were _supposed_ to be in love. Friendship. Ugh. Destroying my pairings.

***THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW***

"You really upset her, didn't you?" a somewhat recovered Luke asked the two sitting by him.

Boba shrugged. "Romantic relationships aren't my specialty. She should have known that. Besides, the person who brought me into a Republic prison? _No_ way."

"I said I was sorry," Ahsoka replied hotly. "And you _were_ trying to assassinate Master Windu."

"_I_ can't help it if that _chakaar _decided to _murder my father—"_

"Oh, didn't you two just argue about that fifteen minutes ago? I thought you'd decided to put aside your differences and work together for the good of the mission," Luke whined.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Boba asked.

"Children!" Vader said sharply. He hadn't yet told Ahsoka about her relation to him. Best not to, really. "Understand that this alliance is temporary. If you will not help me escape this villainess' clutches, I shall have to kill you all. Then her." Really, the only reason he hadn't yet was because the three might be of use to the Empire. But nothing was worth listening to the constant bickering.

Ahsoka and Boba stopped talking. Luke hesitantly spoke. "Remind me again how we all got to be here?" he asked, motioning to the small kitchen in which chemicals were being combined robotically to make food for AaylaKit. There were no cameras where the Interface might see them.

"The doors," Vader said, "are somewhat fragile."

Boba stared at him, wide-eyed. "They're five inches thick!"

"We're Jedi," Ahsoka said smugly. "Not bounty hunters. It might as well be rice paper." Personally, she hadn't been able to break down the doors with the Force, but it was nice to be able to impress her tentative friend.

"So, we're here," said Boba. "And we need to escape. I'm working with two Jedi, my worst enemies, and a Sith, who happens to be from my future, to escape from a deranged writer. Anyone else see anything wrong with this?"

"No," Luke said.

Ahsoka shook her head.

"The question is," Vader said, "what you can do to help us."

"Well…" Boba thought for a moment, then picked up AaylaKit's comlink from where it had been carelessly thrown down in exchange for a chocolate éclair. "I might have a few underground contacts."

* * *

**So. I know it's pretty short, but I was working on it bit by bit. A few sentences at a time. How was it? Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Ideas? **

**(It has come to my attention that this story is in need of some cover art. I'll try to work some up for it, but don't expect anything. My scanner is somewhat impossible to work with and my artistic talent leaves a bit to be desired.)**

**The next chapter shouldn't take too long to work on. It's mostly done and just needs editing. Of course, now that I've said that, it'll take ages. Just keep an eye out for updates…**

**-AaylaKit of Niflheim**


	5. Friends, Enemies, and All of the Above

**Chapter Five: Friends, Enemies, and All of the Above**

**In which the rebellion's plans fail (except where they don't), AaylaKit's biggest fear is revealed, and an unexpected ally for the rebels causes more problems than it solves.**

**A/N: Yeah, like I said, it took ages. I'm so sorry. I would go on for ages, but, well, you know, right? It's summer, so I should be able to hurry up…**

**Credit goes to Vana Jedi for co-writing this.**

* * *

I danced around happily. "Finished with the AU lesson?"

Leia came out of the lecture hall room. "Yes."

"So! You agree with my plan?" I asked hopefully.

I covered my ears. "_Those are very naughty words, Leia Organa! I will tell your father on you! Well I won't because at the moment he's probably busy making sure Luke doesn't die from blood less. But when he's finished I will!"_

Leia looked confused. "My father is here?"

"_Yeah. Duh_." I looked at the ceiling. "_Interface-why-am-I-speaking-only-in-italics?"_

_[Apologies, AaylaKit]_

"Adfghjkl! Rutabaga rutabaga," I said, testing to see if the italics were gone. They were, and I smiled happily. "**Thank you**—**Interface!"**

Leia frowned at me, looking even _more_ confused. Of course she was. She couldn't see the text.

_[I do not know what came over me, AaylaKit]_

"Quark?" I tested the text again. "Good. Thank you. Don't even _try _experimenting with funky font. The readers can't even see it."

_[I will attempt to avoid that, AaylaKit]_

"You'd better."

* * *

"How'd you get in here?" I shrieked, flinging open the door to the kitchen. The four characters had the grace to look somewhat ashamed.

"He did it!" Boba shouted, pointing at Vader. "The Force!"

"We can't use it," Luke said. "She took it away after the Sith tried to murder her twenty times. Nice try, though, Fett."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and stood up. "Boba picked the lock with a paper clip and a bread twist tie. Now, be quiet. We were having a conversation."

I sputtered. "I'm in a _very bad mood_! Leia refuses to turn evil—"

"Leia?"

"Not now, Luke. Leia refuses to turn evil for the sake of the plot, Aayla and Kit are ignoring the piles of flowers, Conversation Hearts, and skimpy clothing and lipstick for Aayla that I've subtly flung everywhere in their cell, and to top it all off I'm speaking in Comic Sans!"

"So," Luke said brightly, "how old are you, Fett?"

Boba glared at him. "Twenty."

"Very funny," said Luke. "Actually, that _is_ odd though, since I'm twenty. Kismet and all that. I'm guessing twelve."

"I'd say thirteen," corrected Ahsoka. "Maybe fourteen, if you push it." The young Jedi looked towards Vader to see if he would join in the estimation game.

Vader was more concerned with something else. "There is no way in the Force that you are twenty."

"Course there is. I remember the day I turned twenty well, because it was on Empire Day and Mothma does this speech about how we've yet to destroy the evil dictatorship that is the Empire" (Vader stiffened slightly) "and Han kept slipping Leia and I shots of some sort of alcoholic thing so we'd pass out and didn't have to listen to it. And then Leia and I took a blood oath that we would never drink _anything_ Han gave to us without using a litmus test on it first to see if it was suitable for human consumption."

Boba was delighted to have the attention off him. "Vader's right, Skywalker."

"No, he isn't. You're agreeing that an evil egotistical Sith Lord who happens to be my father is right, what is wrong with you?"

I coughed, annoyed that the attention wasn't on _me. _"You're sixteen."

"_I am kriffing not!_" Luke shouted, and yelled some more.

"Interface, do we have an italics problem again?" I asked. "Only Luke's talking in it."

_[We do not, AaylaKit. I assure you]_

"Huh. You might be fifteen, actually," I offered cheerfully. "I think I overdosed."

"_I—_"

"Oh dear, it's the italics again."

The Jedi appeared to be truly distraught, so I tried to cheer him up. "It's not _that_ bad, Luke. I mean, sure you'll have to go through most of puberty again—"

A shriek of despair came from the curled up figure on the ground.

Boba bit the corner of his mouth. "I think you broke the Jedi. It's okay, Skywalker. I'm only twelve—you were right about that, by the way—and see, I'm fine."

"_Force_." Luke pushed himself to a sitting position. "I'm okay now, I think," he muttered to Ahsoka, who was worrying. "Aside from being horrified, and decidedly in pain thanks to the evil Sithly author's torture weapons, I'm fine."

"My torture weapons are amazing," I sniffed. "It's not my fault you can't appreciate them. I'm sure Vader thinks they're wonderful."

Vader looked unimpressed. I motioned to Luke. "You didn't think they were impressive?"

"The Imps' are better," Luke said.

"Oh, you are _so_ getting tortured again for that. Now get out of the kitchen. You might find the lobster."

"The—" Ahsoka looked confused. Funny, that seemed to be the expression on everyone's faces nowadays. They were a bit dim, weren't they?

"The _lobster_," I said clearly. "More of my torture weapons."

Luke glanced at the confused faces around him. "To clarify this to anyone who is still confused, I was not set upon by lobsters, and so have no idea what she's talking about."

"Those are for the people who've angered me the most, sweetie," I said, ruffling his hair. Luke ducked. "You haven't reached that state yet." My gaze turned thoughtful. "Boba might've. But I wouldn't wish lobster on anyone."

Boba smacked his lips. "I would. Lobster is very tasty."

I gasped, horrified. "You don't _eat _them! They just sit there. In the room. _Scuttling_." I drew a shivering breath. "_Horrid_ creatures."

"You place alive shellfish in a room with people and call that torture." Vader's tone was flat.

"Well, it _is_!" I shouted. "Interface, they're being insensitive about my lobster problem!" The Interface did not reply. "Come on, you, get out!"

* * *

"Will you _stop that racket!" _Luke whined.

"You're just jealous because you can't sing as well as I can," I informed him, and resumed my victory dance while singing a Queen song that worked rather well for the occasion. "_We are the champions, my friends…"_

Luke covered his ears. Obviously he found my voice so enchanting that he could not bear to listen to another second without swooning. I stopped in the middle of proclaiming in song that we would keep on fighting until the end. "I'm allowed to sing a victory song, sweetie. Your plans have _failed_. I am victorious! Ahahahahaha—ooh." I frowned. "That sounded a bit clichéd-evil-villain, didn't it?"

"You _are_ a clichéd evil villain," Luke snapped, quite rudely I thought. "And you dye your hair."

I gasped in horror. "_How dare you!_ My gorgeous locks are _entirely natural!"_

Luke stared. "They're purple."

_"Natural_ purple," I said. "I'm not like _other_ girls, didn't you know? I have a beautiful singing voice; the skills of any Jedi, bounty hunter, or Sith that ever lived; natural purple hair—"

"Your eyebrows don't match it."

"_Interface!"_ I screamed, running out of the room with my hands over my eyes. "_They're being mean! I'm special! Tell me I'm special!"_

_[I believe you have more to worry about than that, AaylaKit]_

"No, I don't!"

_[There are more important things than your wounded ego, AaylaKit]_

"If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!" I wailed. "Get me some more purple dye!"

* * *

***THIRD PERSON***

* * *

"Did it work?" Boba hissed through the comlink.

Luke muttered an affirmative. "She's busy crying and getting her hair re-dyed."

"Told you," Ahsoka said. "Humans always do that sort of thing. Us Togrutas—"

"Quiet, children," Vader said, cutting her off. "I believe that before we were interrupted, the bounty hunter said something about underground contacts?"

"Yeah! I brought her in," Boba said. "She'll be here soon, I think. If she can find the way."

"Who's _she_?" Luke asked.

"You'll see," the hunter replied. "The witch is coming in here now. Bye." There was a click as the comlink disconnected.

"Who were you calling?" I shouted, snatching the comlink from Boba's hand. "Tell me, who?" I was in a very bad mood. The purple dye hadn't worked so well and my eyebrows were now a vaguely blue-ish shade.

"Ahsoka!" Boba said immediately.

I softened. "Really?"

He nodded.

"Awww, that's so _sweet_, you calling her!" I bent down and hugged him, ignoring the kicking. "I'm going to put that in a story, okay?"

Boba grimaced (probably because true love does not like an audience), but nodded. "Can you leave us alone, then?"

"Of course!" I said. "You know what? You want to go visit her?"

My shipping heart was brightened when Boba nodded immediately. "Right! Come on then! I'll leave you two alone," I added, pushing him into her cell and sweeping off. "Interface! _I win again!"_

I danced around for a while until it lost its appeal. "Right. I'm off to write another one-shot and see if Aayla and Kit will cooperate. What do you think of putting them in a room with _lobsters_, Interface? Then they'll have to band together!"

The Interface did not reply and I sighed.

"You're not doing very well, Interface, you know that?"

There was still no response.

"I built you to answer to me!" I shouted. "Don't you dare sulk! Sulking is bad and evil and leads to a lack of productivity and a pronounced curved spine from slouching in a corner! And it's annoying to _me!_ Stop it!" I flung myself down and sulked.

* * *

Boba and Ahsoka were busy waiting for the contact to arrive and telling stories to each other.

"I don't see why you don't like Master Skywalker," Ahsoka said. "We're not all like Master Windu, you know. I'm all right, aren't I?"

Boba mumbled assent and Ahsoka nodded, pleased, and continued. "And my master is too, even if he's as stubborn as a gundark at times. Which reminds me, did I tell you about the time he and Obi-Wan…"

But Ahsoka's story about Anakin, Obi-Wan, and a gundark had to wait until later as the door opened and a figure slipped inside, clutching a blaster.

"I'm only here because of Ahsoka," warned the visitor. "The Senate doesn't do dealings with people like you, bounty hunter."

"Senator Amidala!" Ahsoka jumped up and hugged her. "Am I glad to see you! _You're_ his contact?"

"Well," Boba fidgeted. "Not 'contact' as such, no…"

"He called me and told me to come as quickly as possible or he would kill you, his hostage," Padmé said flatly. "Not a contact, no."

"Sorry," Boba muttered. "I was only about to die."

"We were _never_ about to _die_," Ahsoka clarified.

Boba handwaved this and picked up the comlink. "Luke, Vader—sorry, _Lord_ Vader—it's fine, she's here."

"_Who's_ here?" Luke asked.

"Padmé Amidala," Ahsoka said. "It's all right, she's a friend—"

She was broken off by a severe coughing fit from Vader's line. "_Padmé?"_


End file.
